I really like the concept of personal responsibility. And although I've had TONS of help making it through in my life, I like to think that my highest highs, and loooowest lows are a direct results of my actions and choices. (and I've made some pretty spectacular bad choices, my friends could tell ya) Knowing that my failure or success depends on ME is a burden and a privilege...
And, just like pulling out a splinter, or pushing out that last rep in the weight room, it just hurts sooo good!
Food Journals and Admitting to my Eating Reality
Food Journals are hard for me. I decided to keep track of my eating today, and suddenly felt like the bratty kids saying to my mom "You can't tell me what to do!"
And you know what? No one really can. I give myself permission to eat whatever I want, and for that matter, DO whatever I want, and I will accept the headache, stomach-ache, tight jeans, and overall consequences I experience later.
Likewise, I accept the energy, well-being, strength, and satisfaction of the positive choices I made today, if I choose to do so!
I maintain that everyone has the right to be healthy, or unhealthy if they want to. BUT... and there's always a BUT. Own up to your life. If you are making poor choices now, understand that there are consequences. I struggle with the big picture, and I want to enjoy life NOW. But at the same time... balance. Extremes either way carry consequences. I swear, I'm always trying to find a way around this natural law, but I can't. CAUSE it's TRUE, dang it.
OMG! Those pounds just SNUCK UP ON ME!
As Cam from Modern Family would say, "Did they, Mitchell, did they??" while nodding, eyebrows raised...I know EXACTLY where all 170 lbs of my body came from. And when I weighed more, I know where that came from, too. It used to come from compulsive eating, late night binges and cheap food. And I own that. But please don't fool yourself into thinking you REALLY DON'T KNOW where they came from!?!
Now my extra lbs. come from beautiful experiences with friends and family, good wine, party times, and lots of love. I earn those pounds and enjoy every last ounce. And when it's time to work it off, I do so with the satisfaction that it was well earned and enjoyed. The feeling is so different now, almost like a gratefulness that I had the chance to do what I love (eat amazing food), and I don't regret it.
So here's my point:
Our choices are ours to make
Some of us have more control over our lives that others, but ultimately the choices belong to us
Obesity is a super serious epidemic
Kids are getting heavier, diabetes is rising at a scary rate
We have the ability to change things for the better
What to do, what to do...
But what are we all doing to ensure a healthier future for ourselves and our children? Unfortunately, it doesn't look like all the Ab Rollers, Thigh Masters, Slim-Fast promises or Atkin's Diets are reversing the trends. Being healthy goes far beyond the food on the plate, and into the heart of the person. No diet can fill your need for approval, soothe your loneliness, or fix the mistakes of your past. It starts with being happy with yourself, your progress, who you are becoming. Then the food, or lack thereof, becomes a natural extension of that pride you have in making good choices.
Getting Real and Being Honest
Starting a food journal can be scary because it brings up feelings of deprivation, frustration, failure, even. But it's also a first step to BEING REAL with yourself. If you can't face your daily food intake, how can you face your inner demons on a deeper level? Start small, face your food, accept what it is, and make a positive change today. That attainable goal, small and simple, can lead to success, and you can build on it to something bigger. Be kind to yourself, but don't lie to yourself.
Denial
Denial only makes you feel better in the short-term, and if you are surrounded by people who tell you, "Don't buy into the media hype! Stay true to yourself and EAT what you want, when you WANT it!", find some new friends. That's all I have to say about that. It's a damn lie that people should have whatever they want, whenever they want it. It doesn't work in other areas of my life, and it sure doesn't work with my health!
So here's my jumbled up day of eating today:
5:30 am - Awake and correcting papers
Coffee w/ cream
7:15 - At work, water
9:30 - Salad with vinaigrette dressing
10:45 - Crackers - one serving
1:30 Late lunch, Campbell's Healthy Choice soup - 2 servings
2:45 - 2 small size Halloween candies
Lifted weights - 35 minutes
4 pm - half a bean/cheese burrito from taco bell
BIG coffee with cream
Yelled at kids for 2 hours (basketball practice)
8pm - 4 oz chicken, mashed potatoes/yams, 1/4c corn, 1/3 c steamed broccoli
Piece of pumpkin pie (homemade mmm) with real whipped cream
Overall? I was sooo busy I didn't take time to eat properly. I didn't drink enough water, the Halloween candy left me shaky and grumpy. I was hungry most of the day. I need more veggies!
On a positive note, I ate a small dinner portion so I could eat my pie. :)
I'm guessing that during my crazy day I probably ate something I don't remember right now, and I'm working from memory... So if I think of some huge omission, I'll add it later I promise :)
Goodnight all :)
XOXO
Andrea
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